The hope is that you see the signs of being an emotional bully (even if only border-line or occasional), you take note, then take the proper steps in your personal growth to overcome tendencies that are likely putting stress and strain on relationships that can only bend so far.Remember, self-awareness is the first step to an exciting life of emotional growth and happiness, even if the initial look in the mirror hurts.You interpret the disagreement as somehow a slap in your face and equate it with rejection.But crying can nonetheless manipulate a disagreement to your favor.Instead, we justify and excuse in ourselves the very same behavior we would never tolerate from others.That being the all-too-frequent case, the following characteristics should provide insight into what may have largely been ignored until now.The thing is, all emotional bullies have “good reasons” why they dominate disagreements. It allows you to avoid discussion, give and take, compromise and the vulnerability of seeing the situation from the other side, maybe even being wrong. The hard work of becoming the kind of person deserving of respect is traded in for the relative ease of instilling fear.
Any comment that was in any way at odds with her position was taken as a frontal assault. But whatever the reason, the problem is that they create the very social context that undermines their relationships, emotionally isolating themselves even more, further reinforcing their insecurities and giving fuel to their fears.When things get heated, your feelings and thoughts get pushed to the front of the line.The other person’s thoughts and feelings get pushed to the back seat or right out the door onto the street and into oncoming traffic.This is the equivalent of a verbal wedgie, except it’s your position that you’ve yanked up the other person’s crack. If the other person is a blanking son of a hipshooter, then, by flippin hockstockers, why listen to the bum at all? Throwing objects around the house, even if not at the person is still an act of violence. If when you return, the urge to break something comes back, go cool off again, as many times as it takes to stay in control — of , that is! You let them know in no uncertain terms that they are (or soon will be) in the doghouse for daring to argue with you.
Discredit the person by depersonalizing him or her as a flapjacketed goshomatic and the message he’s bearing no longer matters. This sort of passive aggressive behavior is meant to punish the other person into submission. Silent treatments and the like can be a sort of revenge, for sure. Withholding sex, leaving chores undone, coming home late on purpose, going to the bar, moving out, even sustained anger can be used as a form of getting back at another person.Are you more concerned with winning the point than honoring the right to keep past mistakes that have long been overcome, stopped, corrected, made up for, repented of, buried there?