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Q: Why do they rub shit on the walls at a Polack wedding? Finally, they spot a beautiful mermaid swimming by. What do you call a hundred white people united together under one philosophy? How long does it take for a white women to take a crap??? Her dad looked up to her and said, "Darlin', yew know what yew haf t'do if'n yew wants to borrer th' truck." "But Pa! He slides in again, and this time it's much easier."Ahhh. He returns home to find out that his wife is at the hospital in labor having their first child. He spots the name on a crib and motions to the nurse. The local priest is walking past as the two men argue and can't help but ask them what the commotion is all about. "Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. " Bruce came running in."Bruce, I've F***ing suctioned myself to the floor," she said. "No way, we can't do it," Wayne said, "so let's try Plan B." "Plan B," exclaimed Bruce, "what's that?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.---Did you hear about the Polacks who died while riding in the back of a truck? The one lawyer says, "Hey let's catch her and fuck her." The second lawyer says, "Out of what? 9 months What's the difference between a white man and a snake? A cracker girl came up to her dad who was sitting in a beaten up armchair. He rushes to the hospital, and goes to his wife's side. She points at the crib and Joe says, "Yes, he's my son."The nurse picks up the baby and drops it on the floor. The nurse says, "Don't worry." She picks up the baby and slaps it hard across the face several times. The first pedophile tells the priest, and asks him if he could sort out the argument, so the priest takes the knickers, has a good long sniff, and after pondering for a few moments he looks at the two men and says:"Definitely an eight-year-old girl! Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suction-cupped herself to the floor. ""I'll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her," replied Wayne. " The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!

After examining her the GP says your wife either has AIDS or Alzheimer's. Well, responds the GP, put her in the car, drive her out into the woods about 4 or 5 miles from your home, drop her off and if she finds her way back don't fuck her. All geared up, she goes out to living room, where she sees that the man he has put overcoat on and is leaving....."Hey, what's the matter? The pro shows him how to place his feet, how to hold the club, and how to swing.

She goes to bedroom, and puts on leather panties, gets whips, chains, tit clamps, etc. ""Hey lady, I shit in your purse; I fucked your dog; I'm outta here."Gay guy is out taking his first golf lesson.

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"This is the pig I'm forced to sleep with when you say you have a headache."Wife says: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."Husband says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."A man in a van stops little Johnny walking down street and says, "Hey little boy, I'll give you a piece of candy if you come in my van".

When they arrive, she excuses herself to change into something appropriate.

They have a couple of drinks, she invites him home.

Like a fly in Vaseline he walks.'Shulman provided the following examples from his best-selling textbook, 'Switched-On Hebronics': Question: 'What time is it? Preist: Say two Hail Mary's and was your hands in holy water. While the three nuns are washing their hands Mother Superior walkd by: "Excuse me ladies, I have to gargle."Then the Bishop walks by: "Excuse me , girls, I have to take an enema."I was in bed with someone last night, he asked "Are you a pedophile? A: No makeup.---Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb? I got home, I go in a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over and burned the whole house down! Then the first girl says: "I don't think you understand. While sitting on the front porch with her two sisters, she shares tales of the worldly things she has learned over the years ..."Sister, I must say that things are definitely different in the big city from around here.

' English answer: 'Sorry, I don't know.' Hebronic response: 'What am I, a clock? 'Remark: 'I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time.' English answer: 'Glad you like it.' Hebronic response: 'So what's the matter; you don't like the other ties I gave you? Preist: Say two Hail Mary's and was your hands in holy water. ' I answered "That's an awfully big word for a six year old."I was walking with a fouyr year old old in the woods. Chunks is my dog."[quote]Three nuns are in line for confession. For example, did you know that there are certain men who enjoy the favors of other men?It went into a river and they drowned trying to get the tailgate open.---Did you hear about the gay Polack? --Q: How can you tell when you're in a Polish neighborhood? "Two with a similar setup: I was making out with my girlfriend last night and she said, "Oh, baby, give me eight inches and make it hurt! I was making out in the car with my girlfriend last night and she said, "Oh, baby, kiss me where it smells! There were a group of nuns riding around town on their bicycles making lot of noise -- singing and laughing and making inappropriate sounds. One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake. Joe turns white in horror as she throws the baby across the nursery. It was born dead..."Two pedophiles were walking down the street one day when they came across a pair of small lacey knickers on the ground. "Spot on," Bruce said, "while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples." "Play with her nipples? "Two freshman students see the following bulletin posted on the wall of their lecture hall: Crash Course in Logical Assumptions Saturday, September 26, All Day Neither of them knows what it means and they are both curious.

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